I friend of mine (Hi, Nicole!) sent me one of those “Getting to Know You” type e-mails today. You know the kind I mean, right? The ones that always start with “Do not reply. Cut and Paste the e-mail below and delete my answers….” Yeah, well I always just reply, cause I am a rebel like that.
Anyway, one of the questions was whether or not I am a half glass empty or half glass full kind of person. I immediately answered “half empty”. Another friend that I sent my responses to (Hi, Karyn!) responded “NO WAY!” that I was a “life gave me lemons and I made lemonade” kind of person. (Is it just me or am I using a ton of quotes in this post?) I have often said that your life is what you make it. You have to DECIDE that you will have a good day, DECIDE that you will be happy.
It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I didn’t have the greatest childhood. I won’t get into the details here in case my mother learns how to Google, but let’s just say it could have been better. (Or, to put a more positive spin on things, it could have been worse.) Thankfully I had an ornery old Grand-daddy who made sure my brother and sister and I had what we needed.
I spent a lot of years being mad that I didn’t have the home life I thought would make me happy, that we didn’t have the money to get the things I wanted (we did have the things we needed ), and lots of other things that, looking back, are so miniscule. I walked around with a huge chip on my shoulder and an “ill as a hornet” attitude. One day, many moons ago, I decided that I was going to be happy. That’s it. I just decided. I wasn’t going to let my childhood or anything else define the kind of person I was.
So now I am almost always a happy type of person. I try to speak to people that I pass in the hallways or on the production floor at work or at least smile. I might be the only person today to be nice to that person and I don’t want to miss the opportunity. I think that attitude is contagious, so I try to put out the one I would want back. Until recently anyway.
Lately I have slipped back into my ill ways to an extent. I am less likely to speak to people I pass. Less likely to make jokes or laugh at those told to me. More likely to be short tempered with my husband and daughter. And I hate it. I hate every time I make a smart remark to someone. I hate every time I snap at my husband. I hate it. I have been blaming it on stress and hormones (I seriously think I have PMDD), but that’s no excuse. I decide what I will be like. I decide if I will be happy. I decide if I will have a good day.
So the next time I offer to slap someone, remind me what I decided, OK?
